Please make this laptop

Please build me this laptop:

AMD Ryzen 7 CPU. Duh.

15" or bigger display, 3:2 or at least 16:10 aspect ratio. Bright (450+ nits), good colour space coverage, no backlight bleed, no PWM flicker. Not fucking glossy! Don't need a touchscreen. The display is the most important component and I will not compromise with a 16:9 screen. I want to do stuff other than watch Netflix all day.

Mid-level Nvidia or AMD GPU, around 6 GB - I really don't have a preference here. I've been using Nvidia for a long time no so I'm out of touch with what AMD has. I think performance wise both are fine, but driver quality may be the breaking point here.

Some fucking connectors other than USB-C. Like Ethernet! And 3.5mm audio. SD-Card reader too. USB chipset and drivers that actually work, not just 96% of the time?

Doesn't get so stupidly on the top that you feel pain when touching it (that's around 40°C). Can make some fan noise under load, but preferably more like an ocean wave than an angry wasp. Should be silent when I'm just browsing the web.

A usable keyboard and preferably a trackpoint, because touchpads still suck after all these years.

No gamer bullshit. No "Killer" Wifi. No see-through gap between body and display!

Obviously it must be easy to open up the case and replace at least memory and SSD, preferably battery and wireless card as well.

Not black outside so you can't leave it in the sun for one minute.

Okay, I think that's mostly it. Get to work.

No, there's nothing like that on the market. For some reason. I don't think my demands are unreasonable. Most fellow geeks are looking for something quite similar to this, so I have no idea why the market doesn't deliver.

The closest possible match so far is the new Dell XPS 17, but it falls short in several important things and has problems with the power supply.